I was not mistaken when I said 2010 would be a good year.
It's going to sound like a cliché, hackneyed and worn. Are probably many who have said this before, but I have found that happiness, flying in a blur around me, has gone unnoticed. I've noticed, almost with a shock that if sadness is so obvious, happiness isn't noted. I mean... we realize when we are sad but not when we're happy. I guess we don't stop and take the time to think about it because it doesn't cause us any kind of pain. So, some days ago, I start thinking about this and in the fact that without realizing, I'm happy. Finally. I found that happiness must depend on yourself and perhaps on the circumstances, not on someone else or the feelings that links you to him/her.
And how did this start? Because I love reading blogs (I found some pretty interestings ones lately), I came to a project built and managed by a group of Afghan women, a kind of blog they are fulfilling with anecdotes, stories and memories, some of them took my breath away, I did mourn or smile, some made me think a lot, others just made me admire them: women confined to their homes by the Taliban regime, girls suffering from polio, girls missing an arm, a leg, blinds or deafs... reading, weeks ago, I started mulling over the idea of "Happiness". I, thank God, haven't had to experience anything like that. And thanks to them, I began to discover my own happiness. I realized how many gifts I received and how many not materials possessions I owe. Because of the monotony, they became no longer special in my eyes, I've get used to them (as they were never missed in my life), they had lost their beauty or I, simply, failed to see it. It is true what they say "you only know what you had when you lost it" and I think I don't want to lose anything I love in my life, but unfortunately all these years I haven't valued them as I should, although I'm sure I would be so unhappy if I miss them: my health, all my organs, all my senses, and I think, an intelligence that satisfies me. I can eat every day, study, have a home in which to live and a family that loves me so much (although we are not very prone to emotional displays), I have unconditional friends althought sometimes I miss having someone "special". I had the chance to know Egypt in deep, learn about another culture and respect it. I enjoy freedom of thought and expression and the ability to analyze issues that many take for granted. And not meaning to sound pretentious or proud, I realized that I have a certain style of beauty. It must be that I started seeing myself with different eyes.
So here I am, happy and content. I may not post in the coming days... I want to study, read a lot, watching movies and start finishing everything I started before and left undone (which is a more than you think!). And above all, pamper myself a little bit more. I also want to write a story. Rather, two. Both are started but it has been quite a long time I didn't dedicate them the time they deserve. I realize I need to improve my writing skills and that, that is exactly what I'm going to do. And someday, that story that has been waiting so many years to be written, will come out... although based on real facts, don't know yet how it will ends, do you know its ending?
Didn't want to end this post without encouraging everyone to go through that Afghan women's blog I have been talking about: http://www.awwproject.org really worth the time.
"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life" (Omar Khayyam).